Thursday, October 29, 2009

KD Speaking Truth

Don't be too modest KD, you are going to make people recognize. Already got you penciled in as scoring champ.  That's why you are the star of the most stud fantasy team around. "Chris Kaman Her Mouth" managed by yours truly.




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59

**Every now and then I shed my unbias and let my true colors show.  Welcome to the world of a tortured Bobcats fan**

59 points. 
59 points in 4 quarters.
At the end of Wednesday night, every team had scored more than 59 points in 3 quarters except 2 (who were close)
So if the Bobcats had played 3 quarters of any other team in the NBA, they still would have lost.  We knew that the Bobcats were going to be a team that relied on defense - Larry Brown has made no secret about that - but 59 points?

The team leader, Gerald Wallace, was the only player in double figures with 10 points.  The team as a whole shot 31 percent from the field.  The average +/- of the starting five was -24.

How did this team go from a few tough losses out of the playoffs to looking like one of the worst teams in the NBA.  I thought I was going to get my retribution in the Chandler/Okafor trade.  We dumped a giant contract and what I thought was an injury prone season waiting to happen on New Orleans and got an athletic, experienced winner fresh off a supposedly "successful" rehab.

Well guess what?  I think that Chandler might be too good for our point guards right now.  On more that one handful of occasions, I saw Chandler slip a screen and roll to the basket for one of his typical alley-oops that he used to catch from Chris Paul.  For whatever reason, whether it be that they couldn't see him, they aren't in rhythm yet, whatever.  Something has got to change.


Chandler played 20:34 and went 0-5 with 3 TO's. (Charlotte Observer)


Now, not all hope is lost.  A beatable Knicks team comes to the DVR Dome on Friday.  The only reason for concern is that the Knicks put up points.  It's just a fact that the Knicks will most likely score close to 100 points.  Which means that the Bobcats will have to double their output to win the game.  I trust that things will turn around though, because this is what the Bobcats do, as  Matt Moore said, the Bobcats are "Not dominant but dangerous."

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TY IS LAW (I <3 Nuggs Vol. II)

Tonight we get the Nuggs on National Television again, this time against Portland.  Which means hopefully George Karl will give some more minutes to man who dices zone defenses like vegetables.  Lawson proved last night that he can create his own shot as well as dish the ball and play lockdown D.  Go get you some Ty Law, Go get you some.




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I <3 The Nuggs Vol. I

Trust me, this will be the first of many, many posts.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

SHEED FRO GALLERY



(most of these via @jeskeets via @jose3030)

Click The Link Below For More Fro-tastic Sheed Pics


Monday, October 26, 2009

There Is A Bigger Story Here

Not just the fact that Zach Randolph may be a sleeper, but the fact that Damon Stoudamire is an assistant coach - the same guy who was in the car with Sheed during the famous "We done smoked it all" traffic stop.

via The Baseline via The Commercial Appeal
"And as long as A.I. is injured, Zach is the leader of this team," assistant coach Damon Stoudamire said. "He's going to have to teach these guys the things that we taught him when we went to the playoffs in Portland. A lot of the things Zach gets a bad rap for haven't been basketball related."

Damon Stoudamire is coaching A.I.??? Whaaaaaat?  You hear that? That is me purchasing Bobcats-Grizzlies tickets. Right. Now.

Best part of the vid: Shaking John Starks around the 1:00 mark.

Yeah. So the Numa Numa Guy?

I witnessed Liquid Pleasure perform at halftime of the UNC-FSU choke-fest.  It was a little heartwarming to see 50+ year old robots sing and dance songs from Motowns glory days.  How their bodies are functioning after years of doing cocaine at deb parties throughout the South still amazes me.  But hey, it sure was better than this halftime show at Michigan State this weekend, courtesy of the Numa Numa Guy.

In case you forgot who the Numa Numa Guy Was



And now this sad "celebrity appearance" in East Lansing




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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Step Aside Nate-Rob

Full post available on Buster Sports

Why We Love Kyle Orton...

...because he is an everyday man.
Because, as best we can tell, he drinks whiskey, isn't really the most in shape person, doesn't have a model girlfriend, and just plays football.




You don't see Kyle Orton on national advertising campaigns, he isn't considered "pretty enough."  Hell, you don't see Kyle Orton on local advertising campaigns.  Lovie Smith must not have known what to do with him, but Josh McDaniels sure seems to.


Last night, the Broncos sat in the shotgun all evening and gave Orton just enough time to make his reads and pick his way down the field 8-15 yards at a time.  It was video game football, it was fun to watch, and it was being done by a player who, as far as we can tell, does have flaws. 

So cheers to you Kyle Orton, you are the only elite Quarterback in 2009 that reminds the average young male of himself, and reminds us that you don't need to have a Brady face or a Manning charm to be successful.




Saturday, October 10, 2009

Rashad...Come on.



McCants can NOT be expecting this so soon.  Especially when pictures like this are still coming up.  You are a professional athlete, you can do better, trust me.




Friday, October 9, 2009

Because It's My Blog: I Can Be A Homer

Bobcats playoffs 2010? Anyone? Anyone?

Thursday, October 8, 2009

BIG TALK FROM A BIG, BIGGER, AND BIGGEST MEN

As the season approaches, it is time for for players, coaches, and front office personnel to make their "claims" and "guarantees" for the seasons.  Here are some of the latest from around the Association. 


AL HARRINGTON - Guaranteed the Knicks would make the playoffs in 2010 speaking to Fanhouse at the release of NBA Live 2010.  I had to replay the interview a few times to make sure he had put his XBOX 360 sticks down and wasn't talking about the video game he was playing.  His goal of "keeping teams at or around 100" is not the defensive strategy of a playoff team. 

MARK CUBAN - and his chest are both claiming that the 2009-2010 Mavs are better than the 2006 Western Conference Champions.  "Not even close," Cuban said on 103.5 The Fan earlier today.  I agree with Cubes that the team is loaded with talent - and in 2006, this team would have been better than the 2006 Mavs.  Unfortunately, the aging Mavericks get grouped in with the Spurs and Suns in the category of "Window Closing Due to Age."  Good luck getting out of the West - Oh yeah, and you have to beat the Lakers.
 






SHAQ DIESEL - ""It's probably the best team I've ever played on, on paper anyway," O'Neal said Thursday. At least Shaq is willing to give qualifiers to his declaration.  The Cavs were the best team ON PAPER last year too.  That didn't stop them from showing up in the playoffs lamer than Stu Scott's right eye. They gotta show me something in May this year. 




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I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE REGULAR SEASON

Shannon Brown just played hop-scotch all over Mikki Moore.  The dunk was so nasty people were talking about it before the game was done.  The game still isn't done - here is first video find.



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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

RICK REILLY LICKED SOMETHING...

... needs to be his own ass.  I used to love Rick Reilly.  I used to love his introspective pieces in the back of Sports Illustrated and actually purchase his books. (not just look up synopsis on Wikipedia and call it a day)


Now he works for the Worldwide Eater of Sports and does a very cheesy and scripted show called Homecoming.  Needless to say, the fact he suffered this humility made me happy.  He said he would lick the Capitol dome if the Rockies made the playoffs. Open up and lick away - I hope you get Swine Flu you friggin sell out. (via 850 KOA AM)





OAKLAND PRISON BLUES

Head Coach Tom Cable is in trouble.  A lot of trouble.  His 1-3 Raider team has gone directly downhill after an impressive performance against the Chargers in Week 1.  

Since that game, the Raiders have only found the endzone once (Week 2 against the Chiefs) and his "franchise" quarterback is destroying defenses with his 42.4 QB Rating. 

Oh yeah and remember that "supposed" incident.  Well things are getting worse. (via Fanhouse)

The DA ultimately will determine whether criminal charges will be brought against Cable for allegedly attacking and fracturing the jaw of Raiders defensive assistant Randy Hanson during a training camp coaches' meeting on Aug. 5. 

Man, Coach - that sounds pretty bad.  How confident is the prosecution that they have proper evidence against you?

"Clear-cut evidence," said Hanson's San Francisco-based attorney John McGuinn, who told FanHouse that Cable attacked his client "out of the blue, totally without warning" during a defensive coaches' staff meeting, and that Hanson provided Napa police with X-rays clearly showing a fracture of Hanson's upper left jaw bone.

Shit Tom, you are in real trouble.  Well I mean, you are making an NFL head coaches salary, you can get a good lawyer to find a loophole.  What does the law say?


If charged and convicted of the felony charges under California Penal Code Section 245 (a)( 1), Cable, 44, could receive a maximum sentence of four years in a state prison, and a fine not exceeding $10,000, or both the fine and imprisonment.

Well hey Tom, at least you could still salvage your season, right?  Hmm, this week you play..the....Giants!


"Please throw me out.  I got a car running outside - it's my only chance" 

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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

OH. MY. GOD.

This LA Times video shows that John Madden has invented a football heaven.  
Previously in my life, just having Sunday ticket and a couple of televisions was such an experience.  This orbit of a man has taken it to next level.  Unless I'm mistaken it looks like there is a buffet with an omelet bar as well.
The middle school fat kid inside me just started sweating profusely.


 

JUST LIKE A WOMAN

Coach, you aren't making any more friends with comments like this. 

(the bald loser in the ESPN studios stops talking at :30 if you want to skip him and get to the 79 year old sexist talk.)

Will Brinson has some good commentary on Buster Sports


Monday, October 5, 2009

MICHAEL "I GOT CRABS"-TREE MIGHT ACTUALLY SIGN

As the November 17th deadline approaches, it seems as though Michael Crabtree is all of the sudden interested in playing for Mike Singletary and the 49ers. (via ESPN)




Crabtree left for San Francisco from Tampa, Fla., on Monday to renew contract talks with the 49ers, according to multiple sources.
Crabtree was unavailable for comment. The Dallas native and former Texas Tech receiver has been training in Tampa the past few weeks.
Eugene Parker, Crabtree's agent, is scheduled to arrive in San Francisco on Tuesday. Parker declined comment when reached.

Oh really Michael? Now you decide that this team might be a good idea?  Was it the fact that you realized that you might just be THE BEST in the division?

Was it the defense that shook the fantasy world this past weekend?  The Children of the Pod have been backing the 49ers and dogging your decision making (via Buster Sports) for the last three weeks.

Welcome back to reality Michael, I hope you've lost that attitude also, Vernon Davis will tell you that the locker room is a much better place when Singletary's pants are up.

Friday, October 2, 2009

CHILDREN OF THE POD NOSE PICKS: WEEK 4

Children of the Pod's resident NFL betting "experts" give you some of their picks for the week and explain why.  This betting advice has a tendency to be extremely vulgar and NSFW.  These men are by NO means professional handicappers so you can't say we didn't warn you...


Bengals (-5.5) at Browns
PAUL SAYS WHY: Can there be a worse game than this? I think I would rather watch a chinchilla orgy than this football game.   SAT question for you:
Would you rather
A.)   Watch Quinn ride the bench in an awful AFC North Game
B.)    Re-watch ESPN’s coverage of the 2007 draft and wait for Brady to almost cry in his three piece Armani suit. (Advice: In order for him to pay back Men’s Warehouse he had to hold out of his rookie contract).
C.)    Watch Quinn suck muscle milk with a straw out of Mangenius’ asshole
D.)   See Quinn perform as YMCA as one of the village people.



I chose C. Nice A.J. Mclean Backstreet Boy dick grab.  Brady Quinn you are a fag!


Bengals (-5.5) at Browns
BAKER SAYS WHY: This game SUCKS. What’s the difference between a Cincinnati Chili Dog and a Cleveland Steamer anyway?  Both involve shitting on a girl’s chest, but a Chili Dog requires a titty fuck afterwards. Who in their right mind wants their own poo on their dick? For that- I’m going with Cleveland.


Lions at Bears (-10)
PAUL SAYS WHY:  In this tough division you have to take advantage of playing the lions. It is kind of like hooking up with your sister’s friend when she spends the night for her 16th birthday party. It is late at night and you think to yourself, “hey she’s right next door all I will have to do is pretend to watch Zac Efron in Seventeen again and wait for my sister to fall asleep than but my hand on her leg and see if she lets me feel her tits”. That’s the NFC North in a nut shell and the Lions are that young naive sister’s friend who wants you to be her first hand job. Just whip it out and cum on your parents couch.  I think 10 points is a lot and wouldn’t actually put money on this, but for the sake of a pool I will take the Bears.

Baker: And Cutler cheats - check the elbow man. 



Bills (-2) at Dolphins
PAUL SAYS WHY: If they lose this game they go 0-8. This game goes in two directions: Dolphins win a hard fought game at the end or the Bills blow them out, Chad Henne throws for three picks, Pat White dies, and Parcells is caught by CBS in the press box getting cocaine licked off his penis by a Cuban stripper.  Must win game for the Phins and the Bills have no left tackle. Watch Taylor and Porter have a field day getting after the QB.



Rams at 49ers (-9.5)
PAUL SAYS WHY: At 4:15 I might as well paint my girlfriends toes or go ask my neighbor if I can pick up pine cones from her yard. Fuck water boarding, at Guantanamo Bay they should make everyone first watch the Browns/Bengals game followed by the Rams/49ers and here is the kicker, you have to watch the complete FOX halftime show. I would shoot myself.

 Is there really a good football team west of the Mississippi (other than the Vikings)? The 49ers and Chargers are the best that side of the country has to offer. What a Super Bowl that would be. It will be the happiest moment in California since The Chili Peppers released Californication in 1999. The only worse Super Bowl in-state match up I can think of is Chiefs/Rams.
 If your favorite team is bad (mine is the Dolphins) don’t you just wish you could plant them in the NFC West or AFC West for the rest of this season so you would have some hope!!

Chargers at Steelers (-6.5)
MATHENY SAYS WHY: I can see the Chargers covering this one. It should be a close game all the way through, especially since Roethlisberger's rape case wasn't thrown away. Willie Parkers vagina toe is injured as well. Also, as much as I hate Philip Rivers he's been getting the job done. Gates pops his 2009 end zone cherry, but that won't matter as the Steelers win a close one in Hines Field.

 Packers at Vikings (-3.5)
MATHENY SAYS WHY: Brett Favre revenge game. This is the one moment that he has been waiting for since he retired*. The Packers front 7 hasn't been that impressive thus far, so I can see AD stealing the limelight from the old guy. However, we all agree it would be far more entertaining if we got to see Favre pop a couple vicodin, load up the ol' gun slinger, and rain down a fiery hellstorm on the Packers secondary.

AMERICA GOT..WELL...AMERICA'D

It all looked great on paper.  America had done everything possible to erase the images of the people that made this nation one of the most hated globally.  The star power behind the campaign was about as cool as they come.  The Obamas, Oprah, and of course: Scottie Pippen. 


The banners were hung in Chicago, thousands were gathered to watch the announcement, and then something happened.  Exactly what we thought we had guaranteed to us was stripped away.

Sounds kinda like kharma to me.


When they announced that Chicago received only 18 votes and was the first finalist eliminated, I'm sure that the many voters who did not vote for us were fist-bumping and whispering "Doesn't feel so good now? Does it?"

So What Now?

We will most likely do what America does, play the victim and rally the most superior athletes together in a "we'll show them" attitude.
And you know what else America does? Wins more medals than anyone.  Yeah, we'll do that too.
So here comes the Redeem the Self-Esteem Team.  Look out.

                                                         

Thursday, October 1, 2009

THE REAL STORY BEHIND MCNABB

Very funny animation via Global Sports Fraternity
Explains what REALLY happened with Vick, Kolb, and Garcia.  Interesting take on Garcia, I've always compared him to my buddy Paul - hmmm.

CORNUCOPIA OF CONTENT

What I am, and you should be checking out around the net.  

 - MJ IS BUILDING A 7.6 MILLION DOLLAR HOME ON JUPITER

- GETTIN' BUSY IN JERRYWORLD

- WHAT SPORTS HERNIA THINKS ABOUT DESHAWN STEVENSON'S NEW TATTOO

-COTP LOVES THIS
- JETS PLAYERS AND COACHES REFERRING TO DIRTY SANCHEZ AS "SANCHIZE"




And of course you should be checking out anything/everything on BUSTER SPORTS including my BIG EAST PREVIEW

CAPTION CONTEST

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