A MASTERS-LICOUS TOP 5

During our Masters discussion, I had Evan help me out with this week's top 5.

The Top 5 Worst Characters to Run Into On the Course:

1. Pele – some players find interesting ways to send their ball upper 90 from the deep rough to the edge of the fairway. Usually the Pele character won't even attempt to admit or make a joke of kicking his ball, instead will honestly believe that you do not notice.

2. Suicide Watch – this character can be the most painful to experience a round with. After a bad shot or bad hole early in the round, this character will shut down completely for the rest of the day. He gets so down on himself that you are scared to let him go too close to the water by himself and spend extra time making sure he doesn’t step into your back swing on purpose.

3. Dr. Phil – As the title suggests, the Dr. Phil character will relentlessly give unsolicited advice, usually at the most inopportune time.

4. Walking Talking Infomercial – Found more often on Public Courses because of strict policies against them, The Walking Talking Infomercial will find space in his bag for all of the “semi-legal” (as he may call it) technology and equipment he can use to “refine” his game.

5. M- Frames – This character usually will unnecessarily wear as many golf-exclusive accessories as possible regardless of the weather and/or setting. This includes, but is not limited to Oakley M-Frame Sunglasses (Duval style) when it is overcast, or the use of hi-tech foul weather gear (such as Zero Restriction or DryJoy) when there is not a cloud in the sky.

MASTERS Q & A W/ EVAN WILLINGHAM

Evan Willingham was a child prodigy on the course and his fame grew until a terrible publicity smear (link here his name pops up about 15 lines down) during the North Carolina State Championships. When reached for comment, Evan said: “That’s definitely not true, everybody knows I never, ever, use foul language. That little b*tch was just crying ‘cause I was kicking his a**.”

Children of the Pod: You were at the Masters last year, what are some things that most people do not realize just from watching on television?

Evan Willngham: Once you get out there everything is pristine. Perfectly manicured, it really does feel like a painting. One thing people don’t recognize on TV though is how hilly it is. On TV Holes 1 and 18 look flat but actually its straight up hill or straight downhill. You are worn out by the end of the day.

Also, with concessions, they stick with the old days. There are no corporate logos, and you just walk through a line in a tent. There are no brands, you can just pick up a pimento cheese sandwich and a choice between “beer” or “light beer”, be in and out of the tent only spending four bucks.

COTP: What is the best way to make your way around the course?

EW: One unique thing about the Masters is that if you have a seat set up for you, then no one will sit in it. It’s something that I’ve never known to happen at any of the other major tournaments. We had one seat set up just next to the lake on 16, a par 3 over water. We also had a seat where you could see [hole] 5 green and [hole] 6 tee, it was incredible.

COTP: Give me your most intriguing storyline people aren’t talking about.

EW: Certainly there is some attention on the three youngsters in this year’s field, or the new crop of Tiger’s as people have been mentioning with Tiger’s 30^th birthday. One that I like a lot is Rory McIlroy. McIlroy came on the scene a couple years ago at the British open, had a top 15 finish. Since then he has turned pro and picked up a big tournament win on the European Tour out in the Desert at Dubai, picked up that 2 million dollar check. Mark O’Meara, one of Tiger’s close friends, says that McIlroy’s swing fundamentals are already more advanced than tiger’s were at his age.

COTP: Alright give me a dark horse.

EW: Going to go with Sean O'Hair. He is coming off a disappointing week at Bay Hill, having Tiger snatch the wind out from right under his nose. But he is a Top 30 ball striker, and a Top 30 putter, as well as a strong finish at Augusta last year with a 14th place finish.